So, lately I have been circling the drain of depression again. I have been fighting it as much as I can. Trying to make a schedule and stick to it. Trying to take the “baby steps”. Trying to go out, meet people, keep busy. It’s not helping. It came to the point that finally last week I was at work and found I could.not.sit at my desk. I tried for a few hours, then gave up and went to lie down in the Nap Room. I curled into a fetal position and slept. Not slept, so much as cried and sobbed and just lay there staring into space.

Lately I have been having trouble sleeping. Restless sleep, I toss and turn in bed. Have weird dreams (or are they nightmares? I can’t make out anymore). I don’t know where my life is going. I have no one to talk to. I have friends. Lots of friends. Just no one I can talk to about these things. No one who understands. Lot of people who tell you to snap out of it or try to give you a pep talk, except pep talks don’t fucking work! Lots of people who tell you why don’t you lose weight or join tinder or bharat matrimony and find a partner. But, no one who understands depression.

I finally decided to go meet a psychiatrist. I am terrified of going to one. Mental health is still so vastly misunderstood in this World. Especially in India. I am terrified of being locked up. But, I am not strong enough to go it alone anymore. I know I need help. I will take the risk and go meet that psychiatrist. Either she will have some useful suggestions or hopefully have some pills to give me that will make me better. I want to get better so that I can be fully functional member of society and achieve things in life.



  1. Miles away said,

    December 2, 2016 at 11:57 am

    How is your treatment shaping up?. Hope you’re doing better.

  2. Miles away said,

    November 1, 2016 at 10:50 am

    I accendentially landed on to your blog post. Your blog name increased my curoisty to look into your posts.
    I can totally understand how its easy to get free advices in India for no cost. From your post I could sense you’re going through lot of stress. I would like to give you helping hand to you get out of it, If you like to give a try let me know. I can promise you I will not bore you like psychiatrist 😋😋

    • sarkywoman said,

      November 3, 2016 at 10:15 am

      Thanks Miles away 🙂 But, I reached out to a therapist and they’re helping me deal with it.

    • Miles away said,

      November 3, 2016 at 10:38 am

      oh god !! I was little late else could have saved you some money:).
      Any how good that you’re on right direction and you will over come it

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