There was a time, when I was a teenager and up to the point when I was in college, having these fantastic crushes on some boy or the other…. and like all silly, dreamy teenage girls with a crush, I used to write said crush’s name all over my notebook and my diary…. Although, I drew the line at writing “Mrs. (Crush Name)”. Even at the height of my crush, I was a bit of a feminist.
Now, my dreams have changed. I have grown up and now I keep writing (My Name), Vice President and giggle to myself…. not very unlike how I used to giggle after writing a crushes name back then (Maybe I am not all THAT grown up, then?)
I used to be pretty ambitious as a kid…. When people asked me what I wanted to become I used to say “the Prime Minister!” … They used to shake their heads at me and say “She doesn’t know what she is saying”. I dreamed of Governing the Country and shaking it right… I used to fantasize about people from other Countries coming to India and looking at the Infrastructure in awe… All thanks to me, of course!!
Then, as I went through my teenage years and college, where I spent more time bunking classes and going out with boys and watching bad movies with my best friend… My ambition kind of got lost in the way. All I could think of was partying, having fun, eating good food, drinking alcohol. I became a spoiled brat! Not that there is anything wrong with Partying or having fun. It’s just that that was ALL I DID! And ALL that I ever thought about doing!
As I came out of that phase, I was kind of lost…. I barely survived in my job. I went from one crisis to another. My career wasn’t that important to me… All thoughts of some day being Prime Minister or even a CEO or a Manager had slowly vanished from my head.
My focus went to finding a good husband! I had fallen into the trap that most young women fall. Career wasn’t important. Finding the right guy was… and then of course having kids.
Then, the disaster of a marriage happened and the divorce… and you know what? Divorce was the best thing that could have happened to me! It set my head right. It made me focus more on my career and less about a husband and kids.
I found my feminist back, I found my ambition and my dreams and desires again. And it feels so wonderful!
It feels amazing.